People… stop wasting your sacred energy. It’s quite common for many people to be very sensitive and release quickly, agitated, sexually frustrated, wanting sex all the time, porn addiction and the need to masturbate regularly… why does this happen you may ask? 

The answer is very deeply rooted in the way society nowadays is exposed to intimacy and sexual desires. Most people tend to be learning from watching porn (which is so far away from reality). It’s given a rise to a quickie, quick stimulation, negative portrayal of the human body, lack of self confidence (size of body parts in men and females) – oh the list is ENDLESS!

You can change, Ojas shakti is the strongest energy we have to create a life and a finite amount given to us. Once that’s gone, it’s gone! Learn sublimation, looking at your partner or all as either a Shakti or. Shiva. Changes the whole dimension of your outlook.

Do you feel you have to perform when you’re intimate? Why? This is all due to media and what we see and hear which builds an anxiety in our minds. Do I look good? Are my boobs big enough? Is my lingam the right size? Should I be doing this sound when having sex? Should I tell him he’s the best and so forth. These are all insecurities or some have ego trips by thinking I’m the best at giving oral sex, I’m the best at this, check me out, I can make him cum in 10 seconds etc. No, no, no, no! Stop right there… 

Many guys and girls ejaculate / climax quickly because they’re used to this quick stimulation which always has an end goal. Masturbating in hiding, wherever they do it.  Their brains are then wired to release quickly. This is a very unfulfilling act which is why they keep on doing it for that 5 seconds of endorphins release… WAKE UP!!! Once you see relationships through the eyes of spirituality and tantra… everything turns on its head and clarity then appears. The penny may drop instantly or be a gradual process. 


What Esoteric and Exoteric practices have said:

Esoteric means the “inner” (eso-), in the sense of the inner consciousness; the contemplative, mystical or meditative transpersonal perspective. This is something different from the ordinary everyday understanding of things, and can only be understood by intuition or higher mental or spiritual faculties. 

The opposite of Esoteric is Exoteric, which means the “outer” (exo-), i.e. the outer or surface or everyday consciousness which is what we would say something for the masses.

So, both esoteric and exoteric paths will have many sects within there that mention things like no illicit sex, intoxication, gambling, eating meat and other similar acts to stop, it can be called Brahmacharya. Why do they say this? Simple, it’s to make the body a temple and harmonise your inner self to ensure you’re in the right space to practice your spirituality. 

From a Tantric perspective which is esoteric, we welcome these agree on not having your regular wham bam type of animalistic sex but Tantric Sex. What is the difference? Well, it’s a huge difference. Tantric sex is all about the the cosmic union of the Shiva and Shakti to reach a higher spiritual goal. What is this higher goal or what does that even mean Hari? In simple terms, I can give an example of two powerhouses of energy combining to open a cosmic portal to the divine. This is possible! When a tantric couple are in union, this is exactly what they’re practicing, they’re both subliming their energy to bring it to their higher chakras. This happens because both the yoni and lingam have points when in union correspond to all of our chakras and when they align in a spiritual mode, the effects are just out of this world. There is a reason why tantric couples can have sex for many hours on end and gain higher and higher consciousness. Tantric sex and Tantric massages are only a fraction of the Tantric teachings of self realisation. So we don’t get held up on just these physical acts of divine love but utilise these to enhance our meditation, yoga and path to reach the Divine. Even before any Tantric union takes place, there are a range of things that lead up to this which can take a few hours, like Tantric couples meditation, breathing techniques, Tantric massage which can lead to Tantric sex in a harmonious way.  


Can one practice Brahmacharya in this day and age?  What can you do to help relax your body? Will this help with better sex and not climaxing quickly? I’m horny all the time, I need stimulation or I’m struggling to orgasm. 

The answer is “Who knows?” haha! We are all different and have a range of karmic baggage of our own. What I can suggest are a range of things which will take time to have an effect but will definitely be a step in the right direction.

The world we live in has a range of ways and followings of people who like a certain type of sexual fantasy, I don’t need to explain those. Why has this occurred? As a human race, we have all become like acting in a race! Everything needs to be instant, from food to the delivery to your door. 

Even sexual expectations have become a technologically lead field, you would have seen an array of toys and so many other stimulating products in the market. Why do we have these? The whole world these days is acting from the Svadhisthana Chakra which holds emotion and acting/reacting from emotion instead of the mind and intellect. We have stopped using our intellect and become reliant on technology to everything for us from using Siri to do everything from answering questions to performing the most mundane acts. 

Book a Tantric massage: A Tantric massage is the perfect way to sublime that chaotic energy of yours to bring it to a harmonious state. Not only will this help heal your physical body, it will heal your mental and subconscious. There are many things I can help you with to do after the massage to aid the healing process. I’m not saying this because this is what I specialise in, but this is a therapy which is proven to be helpful for those seeking to heal the situations described above.

Ease off watching porn! If you enjoy watching a lot of porn regularly, please refrain from this as it damages your whole wiring of the brain with your emotions to your nervous system. Once you get a taste for the higher values of Tantra, this will all become quite animalistic and just hilarious to you. I know this might be hard for some people to stop instantly like anything, we must make this a gradual process of easing off till you don’t need it anymore. Looking at each soul as a Shiva or Shakti will also help to slowly reduce the self and become more intune. 

 Stop masturbating with a goal to ejaculate or climax: HAHA yes I said it! The act of self pleasure for many has become a space where they can explore themselves, release stress and has just become a routine that gives them a short buzz. Why do you want a short buzz when you can have an ocean of energetic spiritual bliss and awakening through Tantra? Which sounds more appealing? I think the answer is self explanatory. 

Reduce your screen time. Find alternative healthy alternatives to release your stress: A healthy body = a healthy mind, we’ve heard this a million times but this is definitely something true. So pick something like swimming, walking in nature, authentic yoga, art, reading spiritual books, meditation. By reducing the time you’re infront of a screen, whether it be a computer, tablet, smartwatch or phone will help you immensely to just switch off! Don’t you feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders when you go on holiday? This is because you’re not stressed about work, being in contact with people and feel energetically charged to relax and explore. This is our nature, to be curious, intimate and express ourselves. 

What kind of yoga? We see a range of things here in the West about yoga for wellbeing, hotpod yoga and unauthentic names like updog, downgod, hip openers! These are methods of using yoga asanas but for a physical appearance and not a spiritual purpose. Practice something authentic which has a lineage and proven masters. We practice Hatha Yoga which originates from the teachings of Lord Shiva. 

All asanas are there to help balance the body, chakras and develop self confidence, inner strength and so much more. Surya Namaskar are great if done correctly to help open your Anahata Chakra (heart chakra) and also other asanas which help clean the anahata chakra are beneficial.  

What kind of meditation? Tantric meditation is the way forward. Tantra is the umbrella term for anything to do with energy and using it for a spiritual focus. So if you meditate on the heart chakra, that will help release energy from the muladhara chakra, svadhisthana and manipura chakra. You can also focus your meditation on a particular chakra if you wish. To start with, we always advise on focusing on the heart chakra. There is no set period on how long one should meditate, the mind will have a million thoughts, the key is not to hold on to the thought or emotion but to let it pass and stay focussed.

Is gym work good for you? Well having a fitness background myself, yes keeping fit is fine but please I say this with the best interest for all is to avoid lifting heavy weights. This causes an imbalance in the hormones, emotions and also creates an unnatural physique. You can do many exercises which use your own bodyweight in a natural way. You don’t see our ancestors in the past lifting stupid amounts of weight, drinking protein shakes which are so harmful for your body as they’re totally not built to create a harmonious state in the body. How do you feel once you’ve had a pre-workout shake? By no means do you feel calm, you want to get in the gym and lift like mad! This is also a strong addiction we see these days of overdoing the gym, “If I don’t workout today, I will get xyz.” Why are we putting ourselves through so much pain? The body is a temple and must be clean and healthy. 

Detoxing your body is another way to help clean the organs. Weak kidney functioning can be a cause of lower back pain, premature ejaculation and so much more. It’s all connected. There are many types of detoxes you can do, live cleanse, pancha karma and many more. A clean body will help you alongside your other positive activities.

 Avoid caffeine, alcohol and meat: In general we advise to avoid these 3 main toxic substances which cause a range of blockages within our bodies 

Doing positive things as a family and creating a spiritual home: As simple as this sounds, it’s one that will transform you. Eat together at a set time, this is when you can express how your day has gone, what’s on your mind and just enjoy healthy banter between you. Go for walks together in nature, help each other to open up and talk about topics which are usually taboo. A family space is somewhere where they won’t judge you but help to elevate you. 

Make this home of yours a spiritual haven. It’s so important and healing. If you have spiritual pictures, statues, symbols around the house, what will you think of? Exactly, the vibrations from these spiritual objects will help keep positive thoughts in your head, instead of mundane objects and artefacts opt for positively charged, emotive ways of creating a pure environment. 

Small steps but definitely things we can all implement to help each other reach a higher goal in life. We only have one shot as Eminem said haha!

Love and light till next time 

Hari xox